“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
Our MP3 players and televisions have a pause button but what many of us don’t realize is we have a pause button too. At any time, in any given situation, we have the choice on whether or not to hit our very own pause button for our lives.
Each day at work I am presented with problems that require careful attention to detail to come up with a solution that takes into account policy, practice, prior determinations, the current set of facts and the future implications. I learned early on that I couldn’t make quick decisions even if I was confident in my ability to resolve the situation. No matter how bad the person sitting in front of me wants swift resolution, I have to hit pause. Hitting pause allows me to gather all the relevant information in order to weigh the consequences of the decision.
It has taken me far longer to understand the importance of hitting the pause button in life. When I hit pause in my personal life it allows me to give deference to my mind, body, and spirit. Hitting pause is my way of giving myself permission to step off the roller coaster for an indeterminate period of time. Sometimes I can hit PLAY after three deep breaths and other times I need a week.
Appropriate times to press pause in our lives include when we feel overwhelmed, lack self-confidence, are mentally or physically fatigued, and/or have an overall sensitivity to the stimuli around us. Hitting pause gives us the ability to step back and assess a situation before making a determination on how to proceed. Hitting our pause button is the first step in self-care and learning how to embrace rest.
By pressing the pause button on life, we give ourselves the space to realign with our values and our vision. To reconnect with our inner voice of knowing, calm, and gratitude. When we hit pause, we are able to make decisions from a place of strength and discern what is critical to our goals.
Our nature is becoming one that wants to continually drive forward without thought for our own well being. However, stepping back often allows us to step forward with greater awareness and purpose.
Not sure how to hit the pause button?
- Awareness. Acknowledge when you are feeling stuck, frenzied, frenetic, rushed, overwhelmed, or needing to make important decisions. These are all reasons to hit the pause button in life. If you are feeling illness coming on, hit pause immediately.
- Reflect. This is a great time to take 15 minutes and reflect on what you are feeling and what your next steps are. WRITE THEM DOWN! This will help you build a consistent process around hitting the pause button going forward.
- Embrace your fears. Often times we are afraid to unburden our schedules. We fear missing something or being perceived as “flakey” if we have to back out of a commitment. Find a way to talk yourself through the fear so you can make the best decision for yourself. Ask for help facing your fears. I have started to refer to it as “sharing my shame.”
- Do what feels authentic. While you might feel hitting the pause button is a sign you don’t have it all together, realize that none of us have it all together. Accept yourself for who you are and where you are. Trust your intuition. You have all the answers you seek as long as you have the courage to listen. One aspect of authentic living having the confidence to do what you need for your mind, body, and spirit.
How do you press the pause button on life? Do you feel like you need permission to step back and take a break?
PS. Sign up for our weekly newsletter, The Successletter, for more tips and resources to keep you navigating life successfully. This week’s inside scoop will talk about a recent experience I had with pressing pause. I answer questions like what made me hit pause, what I did when I hit pause, and my personal reflections.
YES! The permission one is such a big thing- I always feel as though hitting the ‘pause’ button is a sign of laziness and not allowed- but in reality, we all deserve it. Great reminder!
I am trying to do it more so it becomes second nature. It feels so good to “check out” before you need to.
Well, after being on the planet now for almost 40 years, I am just learning that it’s ok to hit that pause button. In fact, it’s needed and necessary and I almost always feel better afterward.
I find that lately I need to hit it in my professional life. I often feel overwhelmed and inadequate. Thank you for the reminder, and the permission, to pause as much as necessary!
I am glad you are learning it’s ok to press pause. What do you do immediately after pressing pause? Do you have a process that you follow?
Yes! I need to find my own space (sometimes it’s my closet and I’m not kidding) and I take some deep breaths and try to just focus on my breathing. If no one is around, I do some yoga poses, but mostly I just STOP what I’m doing and reset my breathing and focus. It works every time!
Yes, yoga heals a lot! And there are days you will absolutely find me in a closet. I will instagram it next time!
yes I can certainly identify with all of this! Starting to say no and unburden my schedule was something that I just recently learned. I always said yes because I felt bad about saying no. But now I realize the power of “no” and how it frees me up to do everything I need to.
This is great awareness Nellie. What do you think contributed to the realization? Was it a gradual realization or a major “aha”?
You are so right about this and have been doing more of hitting the pause button myself, because sometimes I feel myself going at 100 MPH and realize very quickly I can’t keep going like this without crashing and burning. It is in these times that I sit back and reflect to make sure that I don’t indeed bun myself out. Great advice, Tara!!
Since you sound comfortable with hitting pause, is getting easier as you make this a practice? Do you find your self pressing it sooner as you become more comfortable?
Not always, but it has gotten better with time for sure though!
I have struggled with this for many years, and I have finally started understanding it over the last few months, actually, with a big thanks to your blog. It is difficult not to think that the more you do, the better at this point in time. But life flies by fast enough without us making it go even faster. We had a saying in England, not sure if you have it here, but it seems applicable to this right now “Jack of all trades, master of none”. Is it not better to enjoy, and appreciate the things that mean the most, rather than trying to go go goooooo all the time, and ending up doing a mediocre job. Thanks for this Tara, as always, you are an inspiration!
Yes, Tina! I had a mentor once tell me better to focus on one thing at a time and do it 110% than spread that percentage out over multiple tasks. Another mentor was big on the “focus and finish” mentality.
It is important to take a break every once in a while or just tune out from the rest of the world. I try to remind myself every so often to step back and breathe otherwise I might just work me into a frenzy. I look forward to this week’s successletter, they are always a great way to start the weekend!
Ana – glad you are enjoying the successletter. What is your favorite think to do when you want to tune out?
I go through spells where I refuse to hit pause (I feel like it is just me being lazy). Yesterday I actually took a few hours and laid around watching a movie (in the middle of a Tuesday!!) – it was a nice treat and exactly what I needed after a busy week and weekend!!!
I have the lazy thing too. Where does this come from? Our generation of women are doing more and more. No way are we lazy!
i had to hit pause yesterday for the lack of self confidence.. it got to me and needed to regain MENTAL strength and awareness. You, my friend, are so wise
Mmmm. Sounds to me like you are wise as well. Way to rock that pause button!
I am much better at hitting the pause button than I used to be. I have to, for my sanity and the sanity of my family. I say no to new demands on my time, or just take a time out and read or go for a walk. I tend to react to things quickly and often regret rash decisions or statements, so hitting pause helps me with that too.
I can relate on reacting quickly. Sometimes the most efficient and effective thing to do is wait. I want to acknowledge your respect for your sanity and your family’s sanity.
I really have no idea how to hit pause. Ugh. BUT I just booked a vacation for myself for New Years to New Zealand! I really really hope I can just pause my life in the states and go buck wild when I am there – ha! I will probably need a STAYCATION when I return! LOL!
That sounds like an amazing, once in a lifetime trip. I always need a staycation when I return from a trip.
I need to hit the pause button right now because I am feeling all those things – rushed, frantic, overwhelmed. When everything is in motion, spinning so fast, it is so hard to stop it – even just for a few minutes. I need to work on it, though – for sure! Thanks for the reminder~
Hey Lisa – great awareness. That’s the first step and I know you can take the next step toward action!
I am just learning this as well, and it is not easy. But it is necessary for sanity and survival. It appears we are on the same page at our place in life!
Yes, the same page. The busy Mommy page!
I remember the #1 thing a lot of the faculty at BlogU said was, when writing, walk away. Walk away! Pause. Refresh. Be mindful. Be authentic.
I’ve been having to do it lately. Just having. Someone said something that hurt my feelings, but made me think. They said that when I hold my camera and watch my kids, it’s like looking at happiness from behind a curtain. And that I should go in. Open the curtain and walk in and be happy.
Those are my current pauses.
Yes, I remember that as well. If you want to talk more about the comment, you know where to find me.
This post was perfect timing for me as I have been feeling overwhelmed for the past week trying to do and take care of too many things at once. I actually hit the pause button a couple days ago when I went on a trail run and hike at one of my favorite places in Central Oregon. This wasn’t a physical pause, as I was still moving and working hard, but it was a mental and emotional pause which is exactly what I needed. Just a few hours to myself, out in nature, and I felt incredibly refreshed and happy. I think it is important to recognize what type of pause we need – mental, emotional, physical, etc.
Truth Kristen – knowing what kind of pause we need is critical. Wise to take care of the mental and emotional because that will become physical if we don’t.
Yes, I press that pause button and sometimes it stays paused for a few minutes and sometimes for a few days.
It’s important for self-care to pay attention and know when we need that break.
Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
This is just what I needed to read right now. As I sit here trying to read quickly because I just have a feeling like I need to rush through things, I find myself stopping, slowing, and rereading. Thank you.